Palace of the People

Happy Easter Monday everyone! Today we went on a little trip around the town of Glasgow itself and went to the People's Palace. It's this lovely old building that houses the history of Glasgow from 1750 and it's surrounding by green rolling gardens. I don't know why I wrote that they're rolling... but they are. We went into the green house first to warm up because we didn't bring our coats as it's not too bad today! You walk along these paths about the green house looking at the various plants and the signs alongside them that say "Do not touch/climb/look at the plants". The path was built out of these thin wood slats which bent dramatically as we walked on them and I was ready to smash them to smithereens and plummet to my death. I didn't. Don't panic.

Then we went to the top floor to work our way down this fabulous museum. I was hilarious. Every information board would state how crap Glasgow really is. There was literally nothing good to be said about this town, statistically, which is a shame because I quite like it. Here you can see Julia's responses to "Glasgow still being one of the most unhealthy cities in Europe" and "Today, 30% of Glaswegians live below the official poverty line".

Another thing I learned from Julia (and The Guardian) is that the life expectancy in Iraq is 67 and minutes from the town centre of Glasgow it's 54. Yippee! Viva la Glasgow!

They had a section on crime and punishment which had a jail cell and a short video about executions. The last person they hung publicly drew a crowd of 88 000. Fun for the whole family! Literally children were dragged along to these things. The last hanging in Glasgow took place in 1965! Eep! This video showed the place where they were hanged and because the criminals' bodies belonged to the state they would be buried inside the prison grounds. I learnt that the most common type of crime in Glasgow's history and including today is theft. I also learnt that 1 in 30 criminals are women. Go us.

Right next to the crime section was the dance section. Weird. I mean I was reading about beatings and suddenly there was a pink dress in front of me and a smiling woman. Had to back track. Anyway they had these footsteps on the floor marked out which were the steps to some dance so Christine and I started jigging about and Julia acted like she didn't know us. Then there was a section on holidays and the beach so Julia and I got an appropriate picture to mark this.

Next came the war section - they REALLY need to work this place out in a more logical way. There was a story of a soldier who was shot but survived because he had a bible and a mirror in his pocket. They actually had the bible and mirror and boy they were wrecked. The mirror was made of tin or something because it's all warped where the bullet went in. Then he tripped over a land mine and died. Just kidding! We had a little rest in a bomb shelter listening to air raid sirens and a recording of a very Scottish family talking about being in the bomb shelter. There was a sign explaining the war and how it affected the Scottish public and title read "Bombed Oot". Too true. Downstairs came the modern Scotland which was the 90s. Julia and I agree that the 90s cannot be considered history because we remember it!

In one section of the museum it was talking about how women died a lot in childbirth because they had rickets and their bones were too brittle. I found it hilarious that people got rickets because they built they're houses all too close together and there's no sunlight in Glasgow. Today it was cloudy. So Julia and I got rickets. If I hadn't explained this picture it would just look like Julia and I really need to find a bathroom. That's probably what the passer-bys thought.

Just outside the palace is the Doulton Fountain which is one impressive fountain. Queen Victoria is on the top and she came to have a look and was very impressed. The fountain was all run down and rubbish until 2004 when they spent a million pounds restoring it. Before it was restored it didn't have any water in it and Julia would ride her tricycle around inside it - keeping in mind she was very young.

We then went home and watched another football match (not Celtic) over a homemade chili dinner. Julia is a really good cook and I'm not at gun point while I type this I swear. There were all these chilies in it so it was quite hot and the football was serenaded by a sniffing symphony.

Tomorrow is another day locked in the law library while Julia supposedly studies and I try to write my awful assignments. Bleh. It's funny because up until the time we have to leave we watch as many episodes of "Sex and the City" as possible. I guess we need to pluck up the courage to do some work when we are supposed to be on holidays.

Wednesday I head back to Egham and then the next day I jet off to Switzerland! Yippee! The fun never stops. Except when the library intervenes. So long!

Thar Wee Toon ov Inverary

Happy Easter everyone! I didn't think I would get anything this year but lo and behold I scored! And when we went out into the car Christine found another egg for Julia and I! Yippee! After a traditional Scottish cooked breakfast (vegetarian) consisting of beans, has browns, toast, eggs and potato scones I thought my heart would pack it in. But it didn't and we motored off to have a look at the lovely Scottish countryside. No heather but lots of daffodils. We drove past Loch Lomond and Loch Fyne. We stopped at a little town called Inverary which was very sweet. It had all white old buildings and the sun was out so I didn't need a coat. You know what sunshine means... ice-cream! After ice-cream we went and looked at the Inverary jail which was complete with hilarious wax figures. Here is the guard of the jail. Note that he's really looking at Julia... ...and so this resulted. I guess the jail really makes you think about what's important. Kissing wax figures? Not just kissing... I got lucky too... ...sexual harassment lucky... No idea what the figure was supposed to be doing. I'm just very creative. Anyway we went inside the jail and found more hilarious figures in want of hilarity. And so it would be. I find it funny that I've come all the way from Australia (convict town) and I get to Scotland and I'm imprisoned again! My ancestors could sympathise.

The jail tour begins with tales of torture from the past. My goodness they were ruthless! Women who committed adultery would get their hands cut off and hanged. Most men would get their ears nailed to the gallows and then eventually hanged. Fun fun. They were so awful hundreds of years ago. I mean there was no consideration for human life. Bleh. They were brutal.

Inside the place they had a real life court room with figures in a frozen trial and a recording of the transcript. I walked in there and had to really check which of the figures was wax and which were other tourists! Try and guess in this photo...

Most amusing. Because we were mucking about we got punished. Julia asked this guy for a photo but he just locked us up. Shame. I was having such a lovely day.

He was quite determined to keep us in there. This was an exercise cage so he made us walk up and down for a while. We were laughing and joking but he kept a straight face. There weren't many people in the jail (tourists) so this guy's job must have been pretty boring. Unless he wasn't paid... he was just... dressing up sneaking in and locking up young women... hmm... Onto the old jail! There are actually two jails in this place. The old one was built first (in the 19th century) and is the epitome of hell. Overcrowding, disease, insanity, starvation, asphyxiation and that's all in one very small room! There were women and men in the same room which didn't go down too well for the women I assume. They even put children in jail for theft. One little girl of seven was thrown in this place for a couple of weeks because she stole a turnip. As you've gathered this old jail was so awful that they built a new one years later and made the old one for women only. Charming.

This new jail was one of the best in the land. Talk about opposites. It was so much better than the other jail that I decided to take a nap in their luxurious hammocks.

This jail seemed awfully proud of its bathroom facilities. Every level would boast a working WC. Some of them flushable others 19th century style boxes. They would also explain the bathing habits of the inmates. They would only bathe every two weeks! Here's one now...

I guess Julia is helping. I found some guy on one of the impressive loos.Hehehe. I think he was a wax figure... In this jail people were saying that the prisoners had too much of an easy time so they made them do pointless tasks. These weren't even tasks that gave back to society. These were pointless tasks. There was a crank that prisoners had to turn a certain number of times a day. It wasn't easy to turn so they got a workout. There was another one that was a giant wheel and several inmates could be on it at once. It was like a rat exercise wheel. Which served no purpose. If they didn't do their pointless tasks they would be whipped. It was mostly little boys that would be whipped in their several day sentence. They had a photocopied book of all the records and there was only one 15 year old boy - the rest were younger! They never whipped girls but Julia felt the need. It was funny because when we walked into that room there was a big fat white guy on the table and some little woman whipping him. He was squealing and the onlooker was laughing. It was quite weird. I was hesitant to get on that table with them still in the room...

My jail sentence had been served so we let and had a walk around the town and found a lovely soap shop and a lovely sweet shop! Both of which were packed with people after we got inside so we set the trend. We took a walk along the lake and marveled at the sunshine and the pretty lake/loch. Here it is... Loch Fyne...

After this Loch we drove back and passed Loch Lomond and then stopped in Luss. Luss is the town where Julia wants to get married some day. There was this little souvenir store where they were giving away the most delicious short bread I've ever tasted. Looking at this picture Luss looks at lot like Loch Fyne but trust me it's a different location. After this pit stop we went and had dinner further down the track. It was delicious and then we went home and to bed. I was yawning all the way home and I couldn't work out why because the sun was still up. It was 8! No wonder I was yearning for my pajamas. Hope you had a good Easter!

With a "ha ha ha" and a "ho ho ho"

We went to a Comedy Show!

Most of the day was spent relaxing and watching television - "Sex and the City" mostly. There was a Celtic match against Hearts and they drew 1-1 which wasn't very good. The game kicked off and Celtic scored in 35 seconds! That was pretty good but saddening because they didn't score again. I needed to be at the game - then they would have won.

Anyway that night we went to The Stand which is Glasgow's stand-up comedy club. I haven't ever been to a stand-up comedy club before - even though there's one at home. So we got ready (I was wearing my new dress. Yes, I bought a new dress I'm terrible) and Julia curled my hair. We picked up Vinny and met Andrea there. Doors opened at 7:30 and we were there to get a good seat because if you get there later they don't just not let you in you just have to stand all night. Is there some sort of fire hazard risk here? You think they would have a maximum occupancy for this underground cavern of laughs but they didn't. They kept squishing more people in. We got a little table and squished in and got some drinks. I was ready and eager for the show to start but it didn't start until 9! An hour and a half of drinking and then they send the most amateur comedian out first. How is that not sending the pig to the slaughter?

The show consists of a compere and 4 comedians. After another drink the compere came out and warmed up the audience. By warmed up I mean he picked on the people sitting closest to the stage relentlessly. Glad we didn't sit there! Julia and I were disappointed that he didn't ask if anyone was here from further than Britain. Oh well. He was too busy mocking the guy in the front row.

Out came the first comedian. He a lot of good jokes but his timing was a bit off and I think he got spooked by the hecklers. There were signs everywhere in the club saying "Please don't talk" but not heckle! After drinking for an hour and a half the audience were not very kind. The comedian knew it but at least he didn't give up. He even said "Wow you guys really aren't going for this material are you?" He did have some funny jokes though. One was that he saw some graffiti in some public toilets which really surmised Glasgow's population - "Homos are gay". I laughed. I felt pretty bad for this poor guy and eventually he left and Julia and Christine were saying that they were surprised the audience just didn't boo him off the stage! Yikes! I was waiting for a bottle to fly by my head and smash him in the face. Or some drunk person to lumber onstage and pull out a knife. Given that knife crimes are highest here in Glasgow in all of Europe. Yippee!

That guy left, compere came out and admitted he was drunk, we all laughed and then there was a 15 minute break. More drinks! This place must make LOADS of money you would think they would put in more seats or renovate the place to accommodate more people or something.

Break over. The next comedian was this American woman who was very funny. She made a hilarious joke about the crayola crayons and how there was a "flesh" colour and the controversy surrounding it. The colour was changed to "peach" but in the south of America to "superior". Ha ha. Very witty woman. Compere and then another man. This guy was my favourite. My favourite part of his act wasn't a hilarious observation but just an anecdote that every Glaswegian could relate to. Some guy was in the cinema and clearly wasn't enjoying the film because they stomped down the front of the cinema and went "This film's SHITE. See yerr laterrr!" I'm laughing about now as I'm typing. Julia was like "Yeah that would happen that's why it's funny". Oh my. These Scottish folk.

Another break and then the final comedian. He was pretty funny too. I mean I had a good laugh several times over. One of the guys in the front row had obviously had way too much to drink because he actually fell asleep! Of course the comedian saw this as an opportunity to mock this guy. It was funny. Later that night as we were driving back we saw him puking on the sidewalk and his friends walking away. It was a very fun evening and I think I'll give the one at home a shot at some point. Tomorrow is Easter and I hear the bunny calling!

Back to Kilt Land! Och!

Now let's see where was I? I'd just gone to Cotswold is that right? Scroll, scroll... yes. Okay. So the next day I pottered about the scarily empty halls of Founders. Trying not to freak out because of the serious absence of people when there's a jiggle at my door! Pulse quickening I wait... rattle rattle... I walk softly and quickly up to the door and say "Hello?" waiting for my soon to be murderer to say some creepy comment before he begins hacking away at my door with an axe. What I did hear was "Sorry!". It was the cleaner. He was cleaning the other rooms - why don't they have something that has the rooms which people are in and aren't in? Because then this whole episode wouldn't need to repeat another eight times - seriously. By the last few I would get up and swiftly open my door with dramatic flair only to see a different cleaning person going "Sorry!" Sigh.

Next day was my flying to Scotland day. Got up and caught the bus with Miranda and Amy because Amy was flying back to the States that day. It was good having bus company but we parted ways when it came to terminal 5. I won't see Miranda for a whole week! Shock horror! Her parents are coming to visit and they will have a lovely time seeing the sights of London and Ireland. I jetted off to Scotland on an empty stomach thinking that, like before, British Airways would give me a delicious meal. I got a biscuit. A biscuit! I could have cried I was so hungry! I think maybe because my flight was at 2 in the afternoon that was snack time not meal time. Boo hoo. The flight itself was, obviously, successful as I'm not currently dead (or a zombie just to clarify) but it still frightened the poop out of me! On take-off the plane was rumbling and shaking and making this awfully loud whining noise. It was SO LOUD! It was a scary flight and I always manage to freak the person out sitting next to me as I fiercely grip my arm rest and grind my teeth. Oh well. I arrived safe and sound and met Julia and Christine at the airport no worries.

The next day we went into Julia's university library and I was actually forced to do some work. Urgh. I got little done. The internet is an interesting place! Julia got some work done and day crawled by. Eventually we left and got back home to change into our jerseys because we were going to a Celtic game! Yippee! I've been excited about this for yonks so I put on a distinctively striped shirt this time... as you can see.

Looking at the photo I look quite lumpy but that's only because I had my jumper underneath it! It gets cold at that stadium and this was a game at night AND there was a breeze. At least it wasn't raining. I didn't try Bovril (the meat drink) but I did smell it because someone behind me was drinking it and let me tell you... it smelled like a meat pie with tomato sauce. That's EXACTLY what it smelt like. Quite tempting. Then I remembered it was beef juice - no thanks. So I settled with a hot chocolate and settled back to watch the game. It was a good game. Ha... I've remembered... towards the beginning of the match one of the Celtic players got injured (Samas?) and he lay on the ground and they played around him! He was on all fours, then on his back arm over his face and they just kept playing around this guy on the ground! It was hilarious. After the ball was kicked out the medics came over and escorted him off the field. Poor guy. Though I had my hard fan look on thinking "What a baby. If he can walk off then he's obviously not injured enough! Humph!". The game went for its designated 90 minutes and we won! 4-0! Yippee! I'm the good luck charm. The Australian player, Scott McDonald (Skippy), didn't score though. We decided it was because he was nervous playing in front of me. Skippy actually is from Melbourne and got the Celtic team to donate 10 000 pounds to the Victoria Fire appeal. How good is that?

The next day involved the library, once again, but this time I actually got some work done. You would realise this as I wasn't chatting on facebook all day. Go me. I'm still panicking about these stupid assignments though. They're so long and boring and I can't decide how to approach the question - argh. It stinks. Uni stinks. Booo. That night Vinny (Julia's boyfriend) and Andrea (Christine's work friend) came over and we had dinner and played Glasgow monopoly. In the Glasgow edition it has the sites of Glasgow instead of the usual Piccadilly and Trafalgar Square. One of the sites was the Celtic stadium which I bought. Woo! I also got a better photo of the grounds this time so have a look. I lost. All that online monopoly should have made me a pro! But no, I lost. Oh well I think I did well not getting extremely competitive and busting heads. I did very well keeping my composure. Andrea won if you were wondering.

Sorry there aren't more pictures! I haven't been taking many but I will now make it my mission. Today we went shopping and tomorrow we are going to the Scottish Comedy Club where they have stand-up comedy and Julia is very excited by the fact that the comedian will ask "Anyone here from farther away than Britain?" and I will yell like a loon. Here goes...

Cotswolds = Moreton in Marsh

Good morning sunshine! Yep actual sunshine. Amy (Miranda's friend from home), Miranda and I walked down to the train station today to take a long train ride to Moreton in Marsh. I was HOT walking down to the station. I could have been in a T-shirt! Egham is picking up.

Our journey began by taking a train to Reading and then changing ans going onto Moreton in Marsh. Once again the British spell things differently to how they say them and Reading is pronounced - redding. Moreton in Marsh is pretty straight forward but, hey, it's a pretty dumb name don't you think? Moreton in Marsh is near Stow on the Wold and Barton on the Heath - Seriously. Who comes up with this nonsense?

Anyway all these crazy named towns are within Cotswolds which is where rich people go for "mini-breaks" and so on. After what felt like the longest train ride of my life because it was alarmingly full and we had to stand up most of the way we arrived. Amy had pre-hired some bicycles to ride around the town with and for most of the train ride there I was panicking. I hadn't ridden a bicycle in years! I mean I know they say "you never forget" but what about when you fall off! You don't forget that either! Urrrggghhh... nerves. We each got a bike and helmet for all you worry warts and set off to the arboretum of Moreton in Marsh. I managed to take off and not fall off. I even remembered how to use the gears and all that bicycle jargin! Look at me go! Weeee! In the end I loved having the bikes and suggested that Miranda and I hire some when we are in Amsterdam. See some windmills - bicycle style.

On the way to the arboretum there was this dead pheasant right next the footpath and I stopped and took a photograph of it. I know that sounds weird but I've never seen one up close and they have such beautiful colouring! Reading that back I do sound kind of odd photographing dead things ... Moving on!

We got to the arboretum and, as you can see, it was very pretty. Not quite in full bloom but there were many many flowers out. Especially daffodils. There was this sign at the entry to the place that had a picture of daffodils which said "Daffodils NOW!" as if they had just got them in. It made me laugh a lot. It was very peaceful and picturesque. Amy has a big professional camera so Miranda and I each had a turn feeling professional. Wearing the camera (because it was so huge) made me feel like a total tourist. As you can see in the picture - that is the pose of the tourist - excited, alert and camera erect.

So we pottered around there for a while. Had some lunch and then went back to the town on our bicycles. It was pretty much all down hill from the arboretum to the road so we were flying along and - boy - it was freezing with the wind whipping us. Oh it was somewhat cooler in Moreton in Marsh than good ol' Egham. I'm actually finding that Egham is warmer than most places... and sunnier. Just before we hit the town there was this WWII aviation museum that Amy was debating whether or not to go in. On the train ride there we had come up with images of what the owner would like and decided he would be short, fat, balding, wearing a dirty singlet, grey chest hair, nazi bullets in his head and his name was Hank. Boy was I wrong. We stopped and took a photo outside of the place for laughs when this old man came up to talk to me about how inside the museum there was a real WWII plane we could get a photo of. This guy, honestly, was the monopoly man. He sounded and looked like him. Mustache and fancy waist coast and all! Oh Hank how you amazed us. Here's a picture of the museum we didn't go into!

Woo a big propeller! Moreton in Marsh has it all. Back into town and we locked up our bikes and went into (much to Miranda's delight) a little festival that was inspired by JRR Tolkien and Lord of the Rings. It was the sweetest little market thing. They were offering free entry and refreshments like little h'ordeuvres and cordial. There were costumes and jewellery inspired by the film, books and so on. It was really darling. The coolest part was (for some reason) they had a guy with an eagle on his arm. I got to hold the eagle! How rad is that? It started staring at me and I was waiting for it to peck my face off. It didn't. It was quite heavy though and I was pretty impressed. I mean look at my face - I'm glowing with nerdiness.

Moreton in Marsh is a pretty little town. Little being the operative word - more like tiny. It has very old buildings which house various boutiques. Amy was saying that when she was researching the town people were living there a long time ago and then up and decided they didn't like the houses and the town just became a ghost town. Then, eventually, people crawled back and that's why the houses and buildings are all so old - how weird is that? The only thing that offset the beauty and serenity of this little high street was the random carnival in the middle. There were a couple of carnival rides (like at the EKKA) in the centre of this high street. How weird it that? Walking up and down the high street you get to understand what the dangers of this town are. They are surmised in their street signs...

WILD DUCKS AND OLD PEOPLE! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Maybe not run... I don't think that it would be too necessary... just sort of shuffle of at a quickened pace. It started getting dark so the bike man came and collected out bikes and we hopped on a train to Reading and then to Egham. On the train from Reading to Egham we were just chatting when these two teenage boys walked up to us, turned and whilst thrusting went "Sha-wing!". I'm sorry... is that some sort of term of endearment here in Britain? Was I supposed to giggle, swoon and follow them to where ever they were going? Is this some sort of mating ritual? How odd. Overall, a very lovely day and very soon I will be heading briefly into the blue yonder and then into Scotland once more! Yippee! I'll keep you posted.

Photoshoot! And pose.

Spent all last night working out what outfits I would wear for the photoshoot today. The voucher said minimum of four outfits... so I brought eight. A girl needs options! In case you were confused when we got our haircut the second part of our deal was to get a makeover, hair styled and then have a photoshoot. Today was the day. We trooped all the way to London with a little suitcase between us. I started getting butterflies in my stomach! I get nervous about this sort of thing... that and the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing in this scenario. After a couple of hours (yes it takes that long) Miranda and I were dolled up! It was funny because neither Miranda or I are use to me wearing make up and I had loads on so whenever she looked at me or I looked in the mirror we would jump and get shocked. Rather funny.

The best part was that they gave us champagne! Now I feel like being photographed! He he. The photographer lined us up and said I'll do some shots of the two of you in one shot. I didn't really mind either way but Miranda was hesitant. I asked her why and she said because it would be lame poses like us being back to back and what not. We got changed, walked in front of the camera and the guy goes "Now what I want you to do is stand back to back". We burst out laughing. When we later looked at the photos we just laughed and laughed. Neither of us could keep a straight face.

Then the real stuff got underway. Miranda went first and stole the show! She TOTALLY knew what she was doing posing and looking glamorous... Saucy minx. Me next and I was... well... I was still nervous and I was just useless and taking instructions it seemed. He would say "What I want you to do is..." (He said this every five seconds, seriously, which led to a lot of mimicking later between Miranda and I) and he would instruct me and I would get it wrong so in the end he would take the pose and I would copy - Urgh - hopeless. Ah well. Five outfit changes later and that was a wrap! It went surprisingly fast but then again I think we were down there for around two hours. I rather enjoyed myself in the end!

We were then forced to sit on a couch and wait in agony for out photos to be ready to be seen. They said half an hour but an hour later they were ready. For some reason the photographer took 120 pictures when they usually take 75 or so. This made Miranda and I more nervous because we knew buying the pictures would be VERY expensive (Oh how naive we were) and we only could have one photo free. Going into the little room we had a look of determination on our faces and the ability to be ruthless with our shots. This other guy began going through our photos one-by-one asking us if it was a yes, no or maybe. The first "no" Miranda gave she got back "why not?" we can crop it and make different with colours and so on. My photos scrolled around and it seemed the word "no" was the only one I knew! Hey - I'm a poor student... After the seventh "no" from me he would ask "why not?" as if to encourage me to like more of the photos and hence buy more but on my response of "because I look stupid" shut him up. Once he realised we weren't going to guy loads of pictures he really gave up trying. We asked about students deals and he said he would give us four pictures for 150 pounds! "That's a good deal". WHAT? We didn't even umm or ahh we just said "no". We can't afford that. It was hard choosing one photo but here it is...

What do you think? I'm certainly pale! Maybe a white couch wasn't the best choice... After all that battling with that silly man we left. Many hilarious impersonations later we got back to Founders and decided that since we had fancy make up and hairdos that we would have our own fashion shoot! Ha ha! We couldn't have picked a better place to do it. I mean Royal Holloway has some excellent sets... Here are some of my favourite pictures of the two of us...

It ended up being way more fun because we help each other out and giggle. The best part was we would take photos outside and if someone walked by we would suddenly remark, loudly, upon the lovely surroundings... Mostly it was "DAFFODILS. HOW LOVELY. Think I'll just get a photograph... are they gone?" There was one point when we were down neat this pond we found and we were quietly walking along the path and listening to the birds when this duck flew out of no where and landed on the pond. We both freaked! Jumped out of our skins. Later I took a photo of Miranda telling the ducks off for scaring us and being so noisy whilst we were shooting. It was really great ending to the day. It was an experience and I had a good time. I'm eager to do another one! I need to work out how to do my hair curly everyday... could take some time... I'll keep trying. Not much English history or any type of history in this blog but there you go...Hope you enjoyed anyway!

Cambridge - Tally Ho!

Now that Miranda has arrived home - HOORAY! She has day trips planned. Well not planned. I mean last night we were like "wanna go Cambridge tomorrow?" "mmmnnneaaah okay". And with that we set off the very next morning.

As always we plan to catch the early train and are late and see it whizz by us. Oh well. One train down. We then arrived in London, tubed it to Kings Cross Station, passed go and collected 200 dollars. Cambridge away!

To be honest all I really knew about Cambridge was that it was a university. Yeah. It is. The whole place started in the 13th century when scholars from Oxford and Paris felt the need for somewhere new. It's hard getting the historical side of these places without Susanna, our tour guide, so I'm pretty much getting this from the pamphlets they gave us at each college door. As I write this... I'm learning too.

It's a lovely town though. We arrived at the train station and felt very welcome... as you can see... Even the signs were greeting us! After following many signs leading us to the city centre and laughing at the map of Cambridge which has "Jesus" everything with regards to places - Jesus Lane, Avenue, Road, Drive, Library etc. They're pretty clear here about who they like. As we walked we were on the lookout for King's College which was our first college to have a peep at. Eventually, Miranda goes "Hey there's Henry VIII!" And so it was - in stone form. I can see that you were slightly alarmed at the thought of dead historical figures coming back from the dead and creating more history ESPECIALLY Henry! Seeing his statue and then Richard III's statue we knew we had reached King's College. 3 pounds later we had a squeak inside and saw the lovely chapel which would become my favourite of the day (I'm giving away the ending at the beginning but what are you going do?). The best part of this chapel was that it had an original Peter Paul Rubens painting above the altar!! TWO exclamation marks people = I'm excited about Rubens. That was pretty amazing. This college had its foundation stone laid by Henry VI in 1441 so it's pretty old.

We then had look at a street market that was on and bought various goods (which we would later curse and rue the day we went there - but that comes later). The goods consisted of strawberries and banana cake - once again I'll come back.

Then we went to St John's College - another chapel - not as good as the first but still very nice. Walking through the college we went over the Bridge of Sighs named so because it is enclosed and looks like the Bridge of Sighs in Venice. Miranda and I felt that it was because when you walk over it you sigh. Like this.

Ahhhhh... *sigh of relief* ... very nice. Looking up the other way of the river were daffodils (are they a weed here?) loads of bicycles (everyone rides them in Cambridge) and a general nice feel. I imagine this is what Amsterdam will be like. Another thing here is the amount of green grass everywhere. It isn't natural it's all in big wide squares with signs commanding no one to stand on it. Yeah... we're dumb tourists... and we figured if anyone yelled at us we would either run or start babbling in a made up language.

Final college of the day! Keep in mind there were way more but we just wanted to see the best ones. Trinity College. Founded by Henry VIII in 1546 this college was home of Sir Isaac Newton! The spot which was once his garden has an apple tree in it which was grown from a cutting from the original apple tree from his home in Lincolnshire. It was only planted in 1954 but the fact is that that tree comes from the original tree! The tree which dropped an apple on his noggin and thus made history. We couldn't see the tree so I won't be changing history with the help of an apple today! Unless someone throws one at me... which I don't think would make want to revolutionise theories of the universe and so on but rather go after the person that through it... Hmm... The main reason we visited this college was because the library (which was closed - grrrr) was built by Christopher Wren! He's a clever bunny. This was another spectacular achievement on his part.

After all this we were quite tired and hungry. So we had the most delicious lunch at this random place and got two delicious pizzas. Oooo I'm hungry now just thinking about it! Here's something weird that I don't think I have mentioned. The Brits have some skew-iff notion about what balsamic vinegar is. On two occasions Miranda and I have had meals with balsamic vinegar and it was sweet. Like chocolate sauce and vinegar mixed together! This time was no exception. We were discussing theories as to why this was and decided they saw a picture of what the meal should look like and the vinegar looked like chocolate sauce so they dumped it on. Still it was yum.

After lunch we had another look around town and went back to the train station and got back to King's Cross Station when Miranda realised I hadn't seen Platform 9 3/4 ! Harry Potter readers will understand this. At last I have made the transition and saw the magical land of Hogwarts and so on! This is real by the way. Totally real. I'm magic. Keep it to yourselves.

This is the end of this blog.

Miranda's strawberries tasted awful. Mine looked like they had been hit by a truck filled with rocks. Miranda's banana cake was dry and unpleasant. Curse that outdoor market in Cambridge! *shakes fist at the sky*

Tomorrow we have a photo shoot! Need to get my beauty sleep...