How to Achieve Cardiac Arrest.

Day 7

Naples – Milan – Athens

This morning we awoke to the racket of the downstairs market... people selling fake designer handbags, wallets and sunglasses as far as the eye could see! We felt the need to have a browse so filling our socks, bras and pockets with cash we set out. Miranda is an excellent haggler and managed to get some guy down from 10 Euros for a wallet to 5. She was like “Well there was a guy around the corner selling them for 4 so...” then she pulled out a five saying that was all she had – brilliant! Back to the hostel for “breakfast” and some really weird juice that was like blood orange juice or something... more like cordial. We got our bags packed and made the short journey from the hostel to the bus stop crossing the roads with ease – you just go – forget the consequences and just move.
On the bus – at the airport – and it was pretty empty – good o. We had to check our bags which was daunting because we had a connecting flight which means we had to fly to Milan and then catch a flight to Athens. The woman said she would put the bags through to Athens so we shouldn’t worry. Okay... then she tells us that her little conveyor belt thing was busted so we had to leave our bags in this random corner with all these other people clustered around. My bag didn’t even have my name on it so I was freaking – what if we got to Athens with no luggage? We were getting on a cruise the next day – we needed clothes! So this man wheeled our bags into the corner and Miranda goes “Bye bags... forever”.
We thought that was the main part of our worries – oh no – it gets better – and by better I mean much, much worse. Just to set this up – this day goes on record for the most stressful and gut wrenching day of my life. So keep in mind while reading this that every second I was ready to puke and cry at the same time.
We were waiting at our gate for our plane and given that we were supposed to bored in ten minutes and there were no flight attendants or planes nearby we started to wonder. It wasn’t until minutes later an official-type woman comes up and announces something in Italian. Just because it was in Italian doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on – looking at the really angry faces of the other passengers kind of gave it away. One woman translated saying that the plane hadn’t even left Milan yet! Come on! How did they just realise that? There was another woman who had a connecting flight to Athens so she was in the same rubbish boat as we were. Given that our connection left 45 minutes after we should have arrived in Milan – yeah we definitely missed it. The people of Naples airport said there was nothing they could do about our Athens flight and we would have to wait until we got to Milan. Nervous faces all round...
Now that I look at that photo... Miranda doesn't look so much nervous as... err...special? Makes me laugh! But we were both very panicked...
Today we dealt with a lot of escalators and let me explain something to you all – Miranda and I like to keep ourselves entertained in these situations by imagining that on the escalator we are running “at an incredible rate of speed” so we are standing still, pumping our little arms and it looks like we are running... Especially when there are two escalators side by side – as seen here – like I said – kept us entertained!
On the plane to Milan. I mean – finally – small victories... We were both really relaxed on the flight – as soon as it landed though we realised we still had a whole lot more worrying to do. Did we even have a flight? Would we miss our cruise? These were all serious worries going through our head. Miranda and I did some sweet team work at this time though – we split up as I managed to wrangle our bags back and she got new tickets – yes – we’re going to Athens! We had to queue for a million years though because the poor man at our counter was alone and said that this should have been sorted out in Naples – poor guy. Then there was this girl in the queue who was trying to push in front of us inch by inch and kept sighing dramatically and tutting every five minutes! Miranda and I were ready to hold her down and punch her in the throat. She did tell the girl that we were next in line “RIGHT?” and she timidly agreed and moved back – we were in NO mood for people being annoying – I mean we all missed our connections. Oh then there was this other woman who was convinced that if she didn’t get back to Athens tonight she would die. Literally, she was saying that her blood pressure medication was in Athens and if she didn’t get it tonight she would have to go to hospital and started shrieking the place down – soon as she got to the front of the queue and got her tickets she seemed quite fine – hmm. As I was saying I had to get the bags and I managed to get through security really quick and have all these people be really nice to me as I put on my sad concerned look – the world is then my oyster. My puppy dogs eyes got our bags back and peopled stepped aside as I hauled them to the new check-in area. Everything was okay again! Hallelujah!
In the airport we were surprised with a giant lego Hagrid... and that Twisties here are called... Fonzies...Ayyeee...
They put us on a way nicer plane than the one we paid for so that was awesome. We were with Olympic airlines and on the side of the plane it read “Hellas Jet” meaning HELL YEAH we’re going to Greece! We were served a meal consisting of Greek food served by Apollo himself – holy smokes this flight attendant was SO ATTRACTIVE – he was a Greek god – I’m sure.

We arrived in Greece! Hooray! Praise – whoever the Greek flying god is – Hermes ... I... guess. There was no way we were taking a bus to our hostel because a) it 11pm and b) it was really far away. So we got a cab – it ended being about 50 Euros but that didn’t matter because we just wanted to arrive safely and get to bed. It was a really long drive to our hostel because we chose somewhere near the port so we could walk to our cruise ship the next day. I started getting a little nervous given that the driver was a chain smoker, had two mobile phones and a condom rattling around in his middle compartment thing – eep. He was really nice though and gave us pamphlets about Athens and we arrived. This hostel was fine – own room – the only thing was that you couldn’t put toilet paper in the toilet! EW!